Eighteenth Post

Well we went to the hospital today. It was me and Dad and two chaplains from the Redmond FD.

We saw Mom and she looked about as animated as she was yesterday but didn't open her eyes nearly as much.

We also talked to the neurologist.

I had thought that they were just keeping Mom doped up so that she could heal. Evidentally Mom is not under very much medication now and she is actually in a vegetative state. He said that she may or may not wake up from this.

This was most likely caused by the swelling and multiple strokes that have occured that we saw on the long awaited MRI results.

This was shocking to me as I had thought that Mom would be home by August with perhaps some minor vision loss from the stroke.

Now I find out she has had multiple strokes and brain swelling and may not wake up at all.

This would mean that she would require life support to live and that all she could do is stare blankly and sometimes squeeze my hand.

I'm pretty sad right now because I had thought that after the first few days that Mom was going to make it all right. Now its back to 50/50 if she will come back to us.

While I was there Mom turned her head in my direction and squeezed my hand and tears came from her eyes. She didn't open her eyes much today and can't open her eyes or squeeze my hand when asked, it only happens sometimes.

On the bright side her breathing is doing better. Physically she is getting stronger but I don't know about mentally. Oh and I forgot to mention that both sides of Mom's ribcage are broken, I think between the accident and the CPR they did to restore her pulse the first night.

I feel like it is a joke that isn't funny anymore and I just want it to be over. I feel like I can hardly talk to anyone normally anymore without them talking about Mom.

I just want it to go back to normal.